marriage is crazy

So i have been listening to a lot of complaints from people lately, as i tend to be the person people tell things to, whether i like it or not.

a common theme is regarding the balance of power/responsibility within a marriage.

I remember when i decided to get married i was completely practical about it, and considered the romantic part to just be a bonus. i tend to look at marriage like a scene from Fiddler on the roof, "i am in favor of such a socio-economic relationship"

reality on the other hand is that two personalities have to learn to live together. yes, two personalities. not one personality and then the other person who is there to compliment it.

marriage is complicated.

that is not to say that it is not worth it. i am in favor of such a socio-economic relationship. its just that its complicated. it takes time to get to know and accept the reality of a spouse. the beginning of a relationship is so mushy. i think the majority of the time we tend to project ourselves into the view we have of our hopeful mate, so that it is not them that we love but the part of ourselves that we see in them, and what we think they can do for our life's plans. the problem is, the other person is falling for the same thing.

so the complication comes from an inability to accept the reality of the person we are tied to. if i spend my time wondering why my husband doesnt act like i want him to, or more like my dad did, or less like my dad did, or more like the guy on tv, or more like the guy in my head, i am denying the truth about the man i am with. while we may think that trying to change the person to match more what we desire will help, the reality is, it is HIGHLY unlikely they will change, and highly likely that if they did, it would only be a new set of problems.

so again i am at "acceptance is the key to all my problems" my favorite quote. in this case, acceptance of differences. acceptance of a true shift in my lifestyle. acceptance of a responsibilty to allow myself to be part of a duo and not be self centered, acceptance of the fact that sometimes our differences compliment each other, and rather than trying to change it, embrace it and help it become something new.

because that is what marriage is. its becoming something new. a family. in my case, a senouci centered unit. rather than a lone jacqueline.

baby fair spokane

click here to see details of the spokane baby fair

baby cookies

Applesauce Oatmeal Cookies

these cookies are low in fat and sugar and great for toddlers. they are made with a little butter, but applesauce takes the place of the rest that is normally called for.

1/3 cups butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
3/4 cups applesauce
1 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 cup flour
1 cup quick cooking oats
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup raisins (optional)

heat oven to 350 degrees

cream together butter and brown sugar. add eggs, applesauce, salt, and spices. mix until blended. add oats and stir. add flour and baking powder and raisins. mix. drop by tablespoons onto ungreased cookie sheet. bake 10-15 minutes. until slightly browned on the bottom. (these cookies do not brown much on the top, so dont overcook)

let cool and give to baby with no guilt!

its time to plant seedlings indoors for those who have vegetable gardens. Wal-Mart has flower and vegetable seeds for 20 cents each. all others are either 1.00 or 1.50. they also have starter trays for 6 dollars. They have 60 peat pots, a watering system, and a plastic "greenhouse" top.

if you don't have a yard, these things can be grown easily on a balcony or porch, in containers.

cherry tomatoes
herbs of all kinds
lettuce
cucumbers

gardening is another great stress reliever, not to mention the health benefits of home grown, pesticide free veggies.

bread baking

I LOVE BAKING YEAST BREADS

There are also health benefits of eating homemade breads. kneaded dough is easier to digest then than commercially prepared bread. this is because commercial breads are mixed, but never kneaded. You also control the amount of fat in the bread, and you know there are no preservatives or additives or CORN SYRUP.

There is something about baking my own bread that simplifies my life. Its as if i have returned to basics. To one of the simple things in life that our technological, mass produced society replaced.

There is little so comforting as a warm slice of homemade bread.

Kneading dough is a great stress reliever. its also fun to punch down the dough and watching it rise somehow gives a feeling of accomplishment.

bread is made in three steps, so can be easily worked into a busy schedule. starter at night, mixing and kneading after lunch, rising, punching and rising to finish just in time for dinner.

here is the easiest and most foolproof recipe i have thus far.

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Rustic-Country-Bread/Detail.as

Allrecipes.com is also a great site which saves the time i spend searching a million cookbooks for a common recipe.

Hello

Hello, Stay tuned for postings.... here is a pic of me and the baby at peace